The first thing I think about when someone says “midlife” is the word, “crisis.” This is followed by a mental image of a balding, overweight guy (no doubt wearing socks with sandals), driving a new convertible. In my case, nothing could be further from the truth. Well, actually. Some truth. I’ve never driven a convertible.
But I am 47 years old, a dog owner, a husband to my husband, a son, a grandson, an uncle, a friend, and a lover of the Oxford comma (not necessarily in that order). After some life-and-death curve balls three years ago and a nagging fear my midlife may actually have passed years ago, I have to admit I’m not the person I used to be. That person wasn’t perfect, but I had spent my entire life- all of it- learning to be that person. Much of him is still around, I think, but not all. I am… well, modified. But who exactly am I now? Where did I come from and who do I want to be? I’m going to journal every day and see if I can figure this shit out. I’m going to hang on to these journal entries for a month or so, then post a couple from each week here in this blog. Join me if you like…
Journalling and blogging agreement:
- Try to keep a private daily journal and a public blog (yes, this one!)
- Try to incorporate a photo, screen shot, or image of some sort.
- Try not to beat myself up. It’s okay just to post an image instead of writing. Try to write, but don’t feel guilty for not writing.
- Try not to post blog entries from my journal for at least a month. Give yourself some time to reflect. It’s okay if the blog runs a month behind the journal. Reserve the right and freedom to go back and edit, add an update, or create a blog version different from the journal version.
- Try to incorporate some history, vivid memories. Gotta love a good flashback!
- Don’t fuck anyone over. Publicly, that is. In the private journal, fine. But not in the blog.
- I reserve the right to change the terms of this agreement without notice at any time, for any reason. Because that’s just the way we roll around here.
- Above all, practice writing, practice taking pictures, and practice being a good person. ‘Cause practice makes perfect. [insert groan here]